whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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