her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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