We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
