billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
