i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
as a side note pls kill me
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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