What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
