Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
