roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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