Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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