I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
