i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
