my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
