how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
