When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
