Betty ford says i'm here all night
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
