I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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