But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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