A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I look better un-naked...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
