I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
