Do you still have your period?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
