Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
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the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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