Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
