I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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