Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
