Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
