we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
