no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize