he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
