Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
