we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
