what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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