covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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