That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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