have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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