I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
