if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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