Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Randomize
