Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
