omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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