Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
