my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
