You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
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I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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