happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize