I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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