Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
