): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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