i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
