I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
