when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
