About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
