Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up