you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
