Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
