hell yes lets make some ravioli
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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