and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
