That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
