id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
