it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
