I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
