I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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