i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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