just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
