Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
