I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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