If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
