It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
