i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
